One of the most common misconceptions about coaching is the idea that it’s just teaching, consulting, or mentoring in disguise. As a coach, it’s crucial to understand—and clearly define—the difference. This distinction not only helps you serve your clients better but also empowers them to take ownership of their transformation.
When I’m writing blogs, recording podcasts, or creating courses, I’m teaching. I’m talking to a computer or a microphone, sharing knowledge, strategies, and insights. But when I’m face-to-face with a client—whether on Zoom or in person—I’m coaching. Coaching is a dynamic, interactive process that’s about holding space for the client to discover their own solutions. I’m not there to tell them what to do unless they’ve explicitly hired me for consulting or mentoring, and even then, my approach remains collaborative.
The Role of Coaching vs. Teaching, Mentoring, and Consulting
In life coaching, the client’s discovery and decision-making are central to creating a supportive and sustainable future. Teaching is directive: sharing information, methods, and strategies. Consulting is about providing specific advice or frameworks based on expertise. Mentoring involves sharing personal experiences to guide someone on a similar path. But coaching? Coaching is about empowerment.
Through great questions and deep listening, coaching equips clients to uncover their own wisdom, solutions, and next steps. It’s not about being the expert who has all the answers; it’s about being the guide who helps clients access their own.
Why Coaching Isn’t About Giving Advice
Giving advice can feel helpful in the moment, but it’s not empowering. Advice is directive—it positions the coach as the authority and can create dependency. When a client acts on advice they don’t fully believe in or aren’t ready to implement, they’re less likely to follow through. Even if they do, the results often feel hollow or out of alignment with their values.
True coaching fosters self-confidence and independence. It teaches clients to trust their intuition, make decisions, and navigate challenges without relying on someone else to do the thinking for them. For example, instead of saying, "You need to set clearer boundaries at work," a coach might ask, "What do you think is your biggest challenge with boundaries?" or "How would setting boundaries improve your situation?" These open-ended questions allow the client to process their thoughts and arrive at a solution that feels right to them.
When clients own their decisions, their actions are more authentic and their results more sustainable. The power of coaching lies in expanding a client’s thinking, not narrowing it to a single prescribed path.
The Power of Questions and Active Listening
Coaching is a skillful balance of asking powerful questions and listening deeply. Questions like "What does success look like to you?" or "What options have you considered so far?" invite clients to reflect, problem-solve, and connect with their inner motivations and values. This process builds trust and confidence in their ability to navigate life’s challenges.
Active listening is equally critical. Clients often need space to process their thoughts and emotions without judgment or interruption. When a coach holds this space, it creates an environment of safety and exploration. Reflecting back on what you’ve heard, acknowledging emotions, and asking follow-up questions deepen the conversation and the client’s understanding of themselves.
When to Teach, Mentor, or Consult as a Coach
While coaching is primarily about empowerment, there are times when teaching, mentoring, or consulting may complement your coaching practice—provided the client has hired you with this in mind. For example:
Teaching: Sharing knowledge or frameworks, such as how to set SMART goals or manage time effectively.
Mentoring: Offering guidance from personal experience, such as navigating a career transition you’ve been through yourself.
Consulting: Providing specific advice or strategies, such as building a business system for a coaching practice.
The key is to be clear about the boundaries of these roles. For example, if a client hires you for business coaching, they may expect both consulting and coaching. You might provide a framework for building processes, but the decisions about implementation remain theirs. You’re offering guidance, not directing every step.
Coaching Is About the Process, Not Just Results
Coaching isn’t just about solving problems or reaching goals—it’s about growth through the journey. The process of exploring possibilities, experimenting with solutions, and embracing creativity leads to deeper, more lasting change than simply achieving a result. Clients learn to trust their own capabilities, which empowers them to face future challenges with confidence.
An Actionable Challenge for Coaches
In your next coaching session, resist the urge to jump in with advice or solutions. Instead, make a small note each time you feel the temptation to fix something. Use this awareness to pause, ask an open-ended question, and hold space for the client to process.
Here are some starter questions to guide you:
What do you most want to achieve right now?
What’s unclear or uncertain about your next steps?
What strengths do you have that can help you navigate this situation?
What’s stopping you from moving forward, and what would help you overcome that?
This simple practice will help you shift from being a fixer to being an empowering guide.
Final Thoughts
Coaching is not teaching, mentoring, consulting, or therapy. It’s about holding space, listening deeply, asking powerful questions, and helping clients take responsibility for their own growth and transformation. By embracing this role, you allow your clients to become the heroes of their own stories.
If you find yourself struggling to separate coaching from teaching or consulting, consider creating content like a blog, podcast, or course where you can share your wisdom and advice freely. This outlet allows you to showcase your expertise while keeping your coaching sessions focused on empowerment and discovery.
Coaching isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about helping your clients find the answers within themselves. When you step into this role fully, you not only transform your clients’ lives but also experience the deep fulfillment that comes from witnessing their growth. Keep holding space, keep asking questions, and keep empowering others to create their own path to success.
My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger… James 1:19
Reader Challenge:
In your next coaching session, practice asking open-ended questions and give your client the space to process. Avoid offering advice or solutions—focus on empowering them to find their own answers. Pay attention to how this approach changes the dynamic and strengthens their confidence.
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