Myth #14: Free Coaching Will Lead to Paying Clients

Most of us who are in coaching as christians are in it to help people, not hustle them. So it’s easy to feel like offering free sessions is the best way to get clients who will eventually pay you. I want to teach you that you can create other value that is free to people without offering your coaching services for free.

You might think that if you just give enough of yourself away for free, people will see the value and start booking paid sessions.

I believed this for a long time so I coached for free (and for way too cheap) for longer than I want to admit - so I get it. A lot of coaches have huge hearts. They love people, they want to serve, and they didn’t sign up to be marketers. They signed up to be a coach to make a difference, not to become a salesperson.

You need a plan that lets you serve with generosity and build a sustainable business.

Free products and services can help to a degree, but when you use them wrong way, it can hurt you more than help you. People rarely value what they don’t pay for. When you give it all away, there’s no commitment on their end and that means less transformation, less buy-in, and no growth in your business.

You probably love mentoring and serving. But the minute you start asking people to pay, the awkwardness and maybe even guilt creep in. I was there for way too long.

If you’re mentoring or ministering to others, that’s fine. Do it freely, with joy.

But if you’re a coach and you’ve stepped into business ownership, strategy, transformation, and leadership- then you have to price your offer, protect your energy, and position yourself as a professional.

You are building a kingdom business. You’re not being selfish. You’re being strategic.

THE CHAIN  VS. THE STEAKHOUSE

On a recent call with my coaches (we do a live coaching call for all students of any of my courses), one of them brought up an episode I did a couple of years ago about free coaching and the disadvantages of it. I already had this myth scheduled for this week’s episode but I feel like the conversation we had on that call was important so I want to bring it up here.

Let’s paint a picture. Imagine you’re working at a chain restaurant. You bring bread baskets, refill drinks, and bring the ketchup. You get your tips, you clock out, and you go home.

But now imagine you own a high-end restaurant. When you want to honor a special guest, you send them a beautiful appetizer—just a taste, a signal of care, of quality.

That’s how you need to think of your coaching business.

You are no longer the server who just shows up for tips. You are the owner, the host, the chef, the dishwasher, the brand, the marketer, and the mission all wrapped into one.

Most of us come from the workplace mindset of working for other people. And those other people are the business owners who risked everything to open a restaurant, tell the city what they serve, invite people to come taste and see that it’s good, and do the 24/7 work of making all the wheels turn and the plates stay in the air.

When you become an entrepreneur and start your own business, you have to start thinking differently. You have to pay the bills, keep the lights on, keep up with the overhead, make all the decisions. You sacrifice, you crunch, you eliminate, you squeeze.

You also reap so much fruit that’s all yours. You are the one who planned it and made it happen. You show up and you get paid. You get to harvest the field. It’s so rewarding.

Free coaching doesn’t bear a harvest full of fruit.

And when you give out too many bread baskets or bowls of chips and salsa - when all the people ever get is free stuff - guess what? They don’t order the meal. They don’t invest in the transformation. And nobody gets the full experience. No one leaves having made an investment they feel satisfied with. They won’t tell their friends that the cost, time, and decisions were ‘worth it’.

And they won’t come back for another mountain top experience (because they never had a first one). They’ll come back again when the bank account is low or they find out you’re still offering free things or they want a little help but they aren’t really looking for transformation.

This is NOT your ideal client.

STRATEGIC GENEROSITY

Giving is good. Generosity is biblical. But without boundaries, it becomes self-sabotage.

You need a free appetizer to offer but not a whole meal. Your business and your skills are not a potluck after Sunday church where everyone can take what they want and not bring anything to the table.

Here’s a great exercise:Write down what you would do with a $2,000 monthly paycheck from your coaching biz.

Pay off debt? Take your kids shopping? Go on a date night? Put it back into your business so you can grow faster and create more impact?

Now every time you’re tempted to over-give, remember what you’re actually giving away.

When you give too much for free, you’re not just being nice- you’re robbing yourself of impact, income, and the joy of sustainable service.

TRUE STORY

I offered more than 20 free sessions when I launched my business. I poured my heart out on every call. I showed up fully and powerfully… and didn’t land a single paid client.

I had no idea what was happening so I translated it to mean that I was the problem. My coaching or my offer or my personality, something about me was the problem. And it’s kind of true because the problem was that I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I had no idea that by offering free coaching I wasn’t creating value around what I offered. And the major problem with that was that I didn’t value it enough myself. That’s a whole other episode!

The truth I found over the next several years was that people walked away thinking they already got the value from the free session.

They had no urgency, no next step, no investment.

You know the response people give you of just “thanks for the help” and a quiet fade-out from your coaching offer.

I think it’s common for a lot of christian coaches to be pulled on by friends or at church or work. People know you have the coaching energy God gave you, and they start pouring out their problems, and you feel the tug.

Instead of standing there for an hour coaching for free, offer a “bite-sized” coaching appetizer instead of a full bread service.

Each of my podcast episodes is a free appetizer for anyone who listens. But if all I ever did was create episodes and talk with people for free on the phone all day long, I wouldn’t see the needle more for any of us. If someone actually did show up for a free call they probably wouldn’t be putting everything into it that I ask of my clients. They wouldn’t show up fully. They wouldn’t be invested.

And many people who don’t pay anything don’t show up at all because they aren’t losing anything by skipping it. But that leaves me sitting there waiting on zoom for someone who didn’t care to show up. So now I’d need to go work somewhere else, not because I want to but because I have to in order to support my coaching hobby.

So instead of coaching this kind-hearted person who pulls on you, say:

“Thank you for sharing that. If I were you, I’d start by journaling about BLANK, or asking yourself XYZ.”

Then offer your business card or text them with an invite to book a session if it feels right to you and you’d want to work with them. If not, you can refer them to find a different coach who could help them more specifically.

Set a boundary: “I’ve got to get going now, but thank you for sharing your dreams with me.” Or “Today is my day off so I’m going to head home for some rest, but feel free to reach out if you want to really go after these goals.”

Then stop. Don’t serve them the steak.

Because when you do, you tell yourself and them: “I’m not worth paying.”

But you are.

When there is silence after you make the invitation to book with you and set a boundary, let it be. Don’t mess with silence. As a coach you need to be comfortable with silence anyway because it’s not your job to fill in the space.

You are a space maker. You are a great-question asker. You are a guide to transformation. And it begins right here by showing that well-meaning person who wants your help that you’ll give it to them, with respect, boundaries, accountability, and true belief in their capacity to grow and gain.

You can offer a free consultation, but that’s not free coaching. That’s an informational conversation in which you help someone understand what coaching is, how it can serve them, and that you believe you can help them as their coach.

A PLAN FOR THE BIG~HEARTED COACHPRENEUR

Now, for those of you who truly have a heart to serve and feel conflicted about charging… this is for you.

It’s okay to serve freely- but do it with intention, not from guilt or confusion.

Here’s the framework for a benevolence plan I suggest every coach (or service-based entrepreneur) with a helping heart should create:

1. Decide who you want to serve at a lower cost or for free.

   Is it military families? Single moms or dads? Kids under 18? Your church family? Whoever God highlights to you.

2. Decide how many people and how often you’ll offer this.

   Keep it contained. Maybe 2 people per quarter. That’s it.

3. Decide what discount you’ll give and to whom.

   Maybe 10% for friends and family. 15% for single parents. Cap it at 20%.

   Later, you can run a flash sale for deeper discounts- but keep this rare and time-bound.

4. Create your response script for people who want free coaching.

   Something like:

   “Hey friend, I love that you want to work on these areas of your life. Fortunately, you know just the person to help! I’ll text you my scheduling link so you can get set up to work with me, alright?” Keep it kind. Keep it simple. Keep it clear.

5. Create a response for yourself when you’re tempted to give it all away:

   “Hey Coach Me, remember you’re building a business God wants to bless. You’re not a volunteer. You’re not running a nonprofit here. And you’re not being selfish by charging for your service. You’re a professional who values people’s transformation and you know they commit more when they invest. You can help more people if you get paid to do it so you don’t have to work other jobs to pay the bills. You CAN hold the line. You’ve got this.”

   
   

Remind yourself:

You’re building a business that God wants to bless.

You’re not just helping for free anymore.

You’re building something valuable.

FREE VS STRATEGIC VALUE

If you still want to offer something free—awesome.

But let it be scalable, not exhausting.

Offer a free guide, a webinar, or a podcast, or  video series.

Let people get a taste of your voice and vision- but save the full meal for those who are ready to invest.

It’s tempting to try to “win people over” with a deal, but unless God’s made it clear, hold your price.

Your ideal clients will honor your pricing.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF DISCOUNTING

Here’s a little tip about marketing psychology: Don’t lead with the discount.

If you throw a percentage out there before someone knows the value of what you do, their brain immediately starts comparing the price to their bank account or what someone else charges.

Instead, paint the picture of the transformation.Help them see the value first- then offer the discount if it’s appropriate.

You might say:“Because of the role you play in your family/work/community, I’d love to offer you a friends and family rate to help you move forward.”

Let it be a gift to them ~ not a strategy for preventing guilt, rejection, or awkwardness.

BIGGER PICTURE

You’re not just coaching.

You’re learning who your ideal clients are. You’re figuring out how to communicate what you do, how you help, and how to invite people in without selling your soul.

You’re not running a ministry or a nonprofit. You’re running a business that God can breathe on.

People spend hundreds of dollars a year on coffee apps and fast food. They can invest in their own breakthrough, too.

The key is believing in the transformation you offer- and learning to invite people into it boldly.

ACTION STEPS

Instead of offering another free session this week, create a free resource that leads people to a paid offer.

A guide, a checklist, a short video, or even a webinar. Something that helps them and introduces your work without giving away your most valuable asset: your time.

READER CHALLENGE

Ask yourself:

Where have I been giving away too much in hopes of gaining clients?

What would it look like to create a value-packed, scalable free resource instead?

Then go do it. Start building a bridge that leads to your paid offer, not a cul-de-sac where people get what they need and move on.

You’ve got something powerful to offer. Stop giving it all away for free and start inviting people into the transformation that comes through real investment.