Myth #12: Selling Is Selfish and Coaching Is Supposed to Be Selfless

If you’ve ever felt guilty about charging for your coaching services, like you’re somehow less spiritual or generous because you ask for payment… you’re not alone.

Challenge the Guilt You Feel About Selling

Here’s the truth: many coaches feel this tension. You got into coaching because you want to help people. You feel called to make a difference. So when it comes time to sell your services, you freeze. You think:

“If I really cared, wouldn’t I just do this for free?”

But let me challenge that for a moment- what if selling isn’t selfish? What if offering your services is actually one of the most generous, life-changing things you can do?

When Selling Feels Selfish

I work with a lot of coaches who are amazing, wise, compassionate, and full of discernment. But every time the reach the “let’s talk about working together” part of the conversation, they shut down. They feel like asking for payment make them seem greedy or transactional.

So they tiptoe around it, offer free sessions, or avoid the conversation entirely.

Guess what happens? They burn out.

And the people they could have helped never got the chance, because they don't show up fully in their calling.

Reframe Selling as Service

Selling isn’t selfish. It’s a strategic service.

When you coach someone, you help them break free from strongholds, move forward in their purpose, and step into who God created them to be. That is holy work.

And offering that kind of transformation- clearly, confidently, and with a financial investment- is part of stewarding your calling.

Charging for your services allows you to stay in the game. It sustains your practice. It gives you the capacity to help more people—without burning out.

So instead of seeing sales as “asking for money,” reframe it as offering a solution.

You’re not selling yourself. You’re inviting someone into a breakthrough.

Many Christian coaches carry a noble desire to make their services affordable and accessible- because we care. We don’t want to be a burden. We want to help as many people as possible.

But here’s the mindset trap: In trying to make things “affordable,” we can unintentionally devalue the work, create confusion, and even limit the transformation we hope to bring.

Let’s unpack the difference.

Affordability is a price point.

It says, “I want to make sure this doesn’t cost too much.”

Accessibility is a posture.

It says, “I want to meet people where they are—but still call them forward.”

The gospel is freely given, but it cost Jesus everything. And while salvation is a gift, growth usually comes with investment of time, energy, obedience, and yes, often finances.

When we insist on making everything cheap, sliding-scale, or donation-based out of guilt, fear, or false humility, we may be robbing people of the weight of their own transformation.

People value what they invest in.

And charging for your coaching isn’t about keeping people out ---> it’s about calling them up.

What if pricing your coaching with confidence is actually part of their breakthrough?

Let accessibility come through:

• Flexible payment plans

• Scholarships you pray over and offer strategically

• Free content that blesses many

• And a spirit of invitation, not obligation

But let the value of what you offer remain clear.

You’re not selling Jesus: you’re stewarding the gift He gave you. And stewarding it well includes pricing it with integrity and faith, not fear and guilt.

Selling Isn’t Selfish: Your Heart Posture Is What Matters

Here’s what trips up a lot of Christian coaches: We think selflessness means free. We assume that if we really care, we shouldn’t charge- or at least not much.

But that’s a misunderstanding of what selfishness really is.

Selfishness isn’t about charging money. It’s about the posture of the heart. It’s when the motive becomes all about what you get, not what you give.

But most Christian coaches aren’t motivated by greed- they’re motivated by service. They just want to help. They want to be faithful. And ironically, that’s exactly why they should charge.

Here's the truth: Coaching is a service.

But it’s only available because you made yourself available. You carved out time. You developed your skills. You created space. You’re stewarding what God entrusted to you—and that has value.

A service becomes available to others because someone chose to serve with intentionality. That includes the structures and systems that make the offering sustainable—like pricing, boundaries, and payment.

Some of the most selfless people I know run businesses. They charge for their services—so they can keep serving more people.

They aren’t trying to get rich off of someone’s pain. They’re simply honoring the value of what they offer—and creating a way to offer it for the long haul.

And value? That’s not determined by you. The value of something is defined by the person who wants it—the one who sees its worth, who’s ready for change, and who’s willing to invest in it.

So let go of the lie that charging for coaching means you’re selfish. Selfishness is a condition of the heart—not a price tag on your calendar.

And when your heart is surrendered to God, your pricing can be too.

Frame It as a Solution

Here’s a simple practice: Next time you talk about your services, try framing it like this-

“I help [specific type of client] go from [struggle] to [outcome] by [your unique method].”

This shifts the focus from money to mission and helps both you and your potential clients see the value in what you offer. Remember, they are looking for a coach if they’re the right client for you, and they aren’t feeling like you’re being salesy or slimy when you tell them that working with you is a possibility. They are thankful you told them how you can help them, where to find you and how to get started. How else do they get results?

And here’s a real myth buster for you: if you don’t tell them they can work with you and how you help them, someone else will. They’ll pay someone else, and perhaps they won’t get the same results because you are the right person for them in this season.

But do you want to leave it to chance or do you want to make sure that everyone out there you care about helping has the opportunity to work with you and get the transformation that only you can offer? I sure want that. Not only for me but I want that for you!

Reader Challenge

This week, reflect on this:

Where are you shrinking back from offering your services because of guilt or fear?

What would it look like to boldly offer your coaching as a form of Kingdom service?

And if you’re feeling brave- write out your new “solution statement” and tell three people this week.

Share this episode with a peer who needs this reminder:

Selling isn’t selfish—it’s service.